Val
Today I got a talking-to from one of my instructors, Val. She is a dynamic black woman with a gorgeous speaking voice and a no-bullshit attitude. Her perception of my work does not match mine at all.

It started when I was sitting after class waiting for tips from her about my resume-building. She talked with me for a while, then her cell rang. She began speaking to her nephew, who was apparently fucking up. She scolded him at first, then launced into this speech about how much potential he had and how much intellgence he had and how his future could be anything he wanted. I actually began to tear up. Ok, there is a hormonal aspect to that, but still.

Whne she hung up I said "Lucky kid"

"not really" she said.

"No, I said. "Lucky he has someone to talk to him like that."

And I described a typical discussion about my future that I would have with my mom, over and over again. "This will be the first generation that does not surpass it's parents, she would say. Over and over. It was like she was banking on it for some reason It wasn't till just this year that it hit me-- all I had to do was get a BA. Boom. Surpassed both of them.

Anyway, at this she launced into a completely new pep talk just for me. No worries about the strain, it really isn't a chore getting Val to talk. She told me a bit about her considerable struggles to achieve her MA and the complete lack of support form her family, and her decision to succeed well past her family's expectations. She wanred me that when I succeed in my goals ("and you WILL" she thundered) all of a sudden my family would rush forward to claim me. She told me I could pick my own family. She told me I could design my own life.

But what really blew me away was her feedback about my work If you had asked me for a self evaluation at that poijnt I would have said that I was trying hard and probably bumbling along at the same level of incompetence as the rest of the class. A few weeks ago Val read the collective lcas the riot act and said that only two people in the entire class would get A's at midterm. I was positive that i ewas off that list, but as I am pretty content with a B, I didn't worry about it. In the course of the pep talk, she told me I was the ONLY one at this point that she would give an A.

Since I was honestly flabbergasted, I asked for some feedback. She basically painted a picture of myself that violated the picture of myself I usually carry-- she said I was a good leader (I was traffic director for a while) that I was able to work with a team and get results from them, that I would follow through on every task she set for me and follow through on every taks I set for myself. She used the word" follow through" about six times. And when I thought it over I had to agree, but it was wierd that I had to have her point it out to me-- I thought follow through was just a trait that most reasonable adults had and it was nothing remarkable.Turns out I'm wrong; there are apparently a heckuvalot of adults getting a paycheck out there who suck at follow-through.

It has been a rough couple of days for me, and as she went on and on I just felt like a kid getting a bottle. I have never had a person express such vigorous and relentless faith in me before. SHe talked about the "aunts" she had chosen for herself in place of the family she'd jettisoned: Belva Davis, Correta Scott King, some more dynamite women of color I can't remember off bat.

ANd to top it off, Doc ( the head teacher of the radio station) came in and handed the Belva Davis scholarship to Val and mumbled(he seemed tired) "Know anybody who should go for this?"

She glanced at it, and flicked it right to me.

(Oh, and when I discussed my family and how they sometimes interfere with my studying, she sniffed,"Constipation ain't contagious. That's their problem.")